You might have noticed I’ve been quiet for a while. Again.
It’s been deliberate. The last few months have been challenging, to say the least. Whilst some great stuff has happened, there have been a few bumps in the road which have seen me retreat into my shell for a while (I’m a true Cancerian). And that’s okay.
It’s alright to take some time out for yourself when you need it. At least, that’s what I’ve had to remind myself of over and over again.
I’ve had some guilt about going into withdrawal mode because I don’t want to let others down, yet it has only been since I’ve accepted the fact that I clearly needed some time in my shell and told myself it’s alright that I’ve started to feel a bit better about things. It helps that I have friends and family who are understanding and who don’t take it personally that I don’t want to talk (well, at least I hope they don’t take it personally).
My need for ‘time out’ could be due to a number of things. It was almost certainly triggered by a series of unpleasant fights with a family member, which left me feeling devastated – let’s make no mistake, I’m not the victim here (I give as good as I get and that Cancerian shell comes with some snippy claws which will leave a mark if you get on my bad side) yet that doesn’t mean that I don’t have feelings and, as I continue along my life’s journey, I’m finally starting to accept just how much of an emotional being I am and how much my emotions, if left unchecked, can land me in sticky situations. But that’s a discussion for another day…
Maybe it has something to do with a certain milestone birthday starting with a ‘4’ which is coming up, although I’m not particularly fussed on a conscious level since I already went through my major midlife crisis at 35. Or perhaps it’s because I’m coming towards the end of my university studies (I’ll be graduating middle of next year) and that’s forcing me to start thinking about what I’m going to do when I grow up (lol); it’s one thing to start studying in a new field in order to change careers, another to actually start working in a completely new field. In my case, it’s about deciding how I’ll utilise my degree in Psychology (if you’re interested, I’m considering possibly getting into social work, but I’m not 100% decided just yet).
Regardless of what might have contributed to my need for ‘me time’, it is what it is. I am where I am because this is where I need to be at this point in time to learn the lessons I need to learn. And, in spite of some initial resistance, I am learning them.
That’s the thing about learning – nobody ever has all the answers and nobody ever stops learning. I, for one, have learnt (and accepted) that it’s okay to take time out for yourself when you need it; in fact, I think it’s something that we don’t do nearly often enough. So, I ask you this: when was the last time you took time out for you? I mean, really took time out for you? It might be time for you to take some you time.
Go on – I’ll understand.
My book, Depression? F*** Depression!, is on sale in eBook format on the Apple iBookstore and Amazon Kindle. Featuring 260 pages of practical advice about understanding and dealing with mental illnesses like depression and anxiety, it’s part memoir and part self-help guide. Grab it on Apple iBooks for only $0.99 (AUD/USD/CAD)/£0.49/€0.99 HERE or on Amazon Kindle for just $0.99 USD/£0.99/€0.99 from HERE. Also available to buy in print from Amazon and Book Depository.