Ready to start changing your life for the better? Then come and join me for my new podcast, Change Your Life! Episode 2 is out now and it’s all about overcoming resistance so you can make the changes you need to. Welcome to the Change Your Life! podcast, your guide to creating a better life for yourself!
Episode Transcript
Why do we need to change? Why is change important? And what’s the secret to making changes that actually work?
Well, you’re in the right place because that’s what I’m talking about this week here in the Change Your Life! podcast! So, get settled and let’s talk about how to change your life with simple tips grounded in quality research.
Hi! I’m Jeremy Godwin, and welcome to Episode 2 of Change Your Life!, where I’m going to be sharing lots of practical and straightforward advice to help you create a better life for yourself.
I’m a writer, coach, and mental health counsellor, so I talk to clients about this stuff for a living, and you might also be familiar with my other podcast, Let’s Talk About Mental Health, where I teach people how to improve their wellbeing each week… but I’m also someone who’s been doing a lot of work to make changes in my own life and so I want to share my journey with you, and all the stuff I’ve been learning along the way, and hopefully we can all really change each of our lives for the better.
Last week I introduced the idea of change and the importance of being brutally honest with yourself about what’s working and what needs to change in various areas of your life. So today I want to dig a bit deeper into why change matters and talk about some of the common challenges we come up against when we try to make changes, along with the different ways that change can — and will — help you to totally transform your life for the better.
So, let’s start by talking about…
Why change matters
And it matters because nothing stays the same in life… even if we might be tempted to try and make it stay the same! Nothing can actually stay the same forever, because life is change; there’s no avoiding it.
The thing is that change is one of the few constants in life — along with taxes, and the inevitable fact that reality shows will push lame manufactured storylines to try and cling onto viewers — and yet it feels like it’s something a lot of us struggle with, which means that change is often a lot tougher than maybe it needs to be (and certainly far more painful than it should be!).
And then the other thing you need to bear in mind as well is that your life isn’t going to just magically change itself — sorry to have to break that to you! — and so you if you want (or need) to make changes then you need to take control and take action.
Now, let me be clear and say that I don’t think that change is necessarily all ‘happy happy joy joy’ (and there’s a little Ren & Stimpy reference for you, directly from the 1990s because I’m officially old!), and change can range from a little bit uncomfortable all the way through to “Holy shit this feels terrible, make it stop right now!).
But here’s the thing: change is the lifeblood of growth. Think about it: without change, life would be pretty stagnant. We’d all be stuck in the same routines, the same patterns, the same ways of thinking and doing. I mean, imagine if you were still doing things the way you were when you were 12 (and dressing the same). The horror!
Now, maybe the idea of never having to change might sound comfortable, and maybe it is… for a while. But comfort can quickly turn into complacency, and that’s where the trouble starts because we begin to feel like we’re in a rut; over time, our excitement and enthusiasm wanes, and life can lose its sparkle.
Embracing change is like giving yourself permission to evolve; to create a life for yourself that feels fulfilling and satisfying instead of one where it’s just the same thing over and over and over.
It’s recognising that you’re not the same person you were five years ago, or even one year ago, and that’s perfectly OK. In fact, it’s brilliant! Change means you’re learning, you’re adapting, and you’re becoming a richer version of yourself. It’s the secret ingredient to staying engaged with life, to feeling alive and purposeful.
So, why does change matter? Well, it matters because it’s how we grow. It’s how we keep our minds sharp, our spirits lifted, and our lives fulfilling. It’s about constantly becoming the best version of ourselves. And, remember, change doesn’t have to involve making monumental shifts in your life; even small changes can make an enormous difference. The important thing is to keep moving forward, one step at a time, instead of letting yourself stay stuck.
Change is about taking control of your life and shaping your destiny. If you want to create something then you have to create it; Olympic athletes don’t just wake up one day and go, “hmmm, I think I might go compete in elite sport today…” — it takes hard work, focus, and discipline! Time, effort, and perseverance are the keys to successful change, and recognising that true, sustainable, long-term change is created through a series of small actions that add up, over time, to deliver big results.
But let’s be real here as well… change can be really daunting, like I said last week. It’s like standing at the edge of a diving board, looking down at the water with your heart pounding. The trick is to focus on what’s waiting for you when you take the plunge. That fresh perspective, the new experiences, the opportunities to discover strengths and passions you never knew you had… change brings you all of this, and so much more.
So now let’s talk about…
Some of the common challenges we come up against when we try to make changes
Look, let’s just be honest here: if change were easy, we’d all be doing it all the time, right?! And the entire health and wellness industry would be out of business! So the next time you feel bad about yourself for struggling to make changes, or stick to them, remind yourself that you’re definitely not alone when it comes to finding change tough. The fact is that we resist change because it’s unsettling… and who wants to proactively go out of their way to make themselves feel uncomfortable?! But the reality is that if you don’t change voluntarily, it will probably happen anyway (but usually in a way you won’t like)… so you can either take control and steer things towards where you want to go (or at least make the best of a difficult situation) or you can let yourself be blown away by the winds of change.
One of the biggest hurdles we all face when it comes to change is fear; fear of the unknown, fear of failure, even fear of what others might think. Our brains are hardwired to seek safety and familiarity, so stepping out of our comfort zones can feel like a massive, scary leap into the dark. It’s perfectly natural to feel this way, but instead of letting fear control you or hold you back you’ll find that acknowledging fear as a part of the process can really help you push through it (and, by the way, I’ll be talking about how to overcome your fears and insecurities in Episode 5, so make sure you hit ‘follow’ on your preferred podcast platform so you never miss an episode).
Another common challenge we tend to face is the sheer repetitiveness of our daily routines. We’re creatures of habit, and once we get stuck in our ways, it can be incredibly hard to break free. Think about how easy it is to hit snooze on your alarm clock 18 times instead of getting up early to exercise, or how often we reach for that comfort food instead of eating or doing something healthier. These ingrained habits can feel like massive concrete barriers to change and they can keep us feeling stuck.
Then there’s the issue of impatience. We live in a world where we expect instant results, but meaningful change often takes time; in fact, I’d say that almost everything worth having takes time, effort and perseverance. So the issue for many of us is that when we don’t see immediate progress, it’s easy to get discouraged and give up… but it’s crucial to remember that change is a marathon, not a sprint; it’s an ongoing journey that we take throughout our entire lives, and so instead of expecting things to happen immediately (if not sooner) we can choose to be kinder to ourselves by looking at the bigger picture and celebrating our small victories along the way to keep us motivated.
We also often face the challenge of self-doubt; that little voice in our head that says, “You can’t do this,” or “You’ve tried before and failed, so why bother?” or “Go on, eat the cake, you’re never going to succeed anyway!” This type of negative self-talk can be incredibly powerful and hard to resist, and it can derail our best intentions. But the good news is that learning to counter these types of thoughts with positive affirmations and by reminding yourself of past successes, as well as by focusing on why you’re making the changes that you’re making, can help you stay on track.
Then, another type of challenge we can face is external pressure and expectations from others. Sometimes, the people around us are resistant to our changes because it disrupts their sense of stability or challenges their own behaviours. I hate to say this, but I have to say this: there are probably some people in your life who are invested in you not changing certain aspects of yourself. For example, in relationships with family and friends (or your partner, if you’re attached, or kids, if you have them), some people might take advantage of you not standing up for yourself, or putting everyone else’s needs before your own, and so if and when you begin to make significant changes it can be extremely confronting for them, and you may find you’re on the receiving end of a lot of pushback. Or another example could be alcohol or substance use; I know that, for me, after I quit drinking in July 2018 I began to realise that there were a lot of relationships and situations in my life that were alcohol-dependant, and that we actually had nothing in common outside of enjoying getting pissed together… and that’s not exactly a solid foundation for a relationship (and definitely not when you’re a recovering alcoholic navigating your way through sobriety!).
So, my point here is that there are a lot of potential challenges when it comes to creating meaningful, lasting change in your life… but I tend to think that it’s the challenges that make it all the more worth pursuing, because I think if it’s too easy then we don’t really value it enough (honestly, human beings are weird, right?!). So, if you’re feeling these types of challenges as you try to make changes in your life, know that you’re not alone and it’s all part of the process. The key is to stay persistent, to be kind to yourself, and to keep your eyes on the prize… because every step you take, no matter how small it may seem, is a step towards a better you.
OK, so before we go any further let’s first take a short break to hear from the brands who help me create this show each week.
AD BREAK [does not play on Premium]
And welcome back! Now let’s talk about…
The different ways that change can (and will) help you completely change your life for the better
And that might seem like a big statement to make, “completely change your life for the better”… but I’m pretty sure I can back it up with some tips that are going to help you to be more positive about change so you can start taking steps forward towards who you want to be in the future!
The main thing I want you to consider here is this: problems won’t just magically fix themselves. Let me tell you a little story to demonstrate what I mean.
Back in my corporate days, I had a manager who I had some difficulties with; we actually got along fairly well on a personal level, but professionally-speaking I didn’t feel like I was getting the support that I needed and there were a number of issues related to personnel that we didn’t see eye-to-eye on. Eventually, I was approached by another manager about taking on a role in a different area, which I jumped at because not only was it challenging but it also meant a new manager. After really thriving in my first year in that new role, there was a restructure (which is basically inevitable at least every six months in a large corporation!) and my manager, who I had a brilliant working relationship with, was made redundant. Management responsibilities were shuffled around, and guess who my new manager was? Yep, it was the previous manager who I’d had challenges with!
I naïvely thought that everything would be fine, and it was for the first couple of months, but then we ended up back in the same place where I wasn’t getting the support that I needed and I felt like I was having to fight for everything my people and my department needed. After dealing with a major personnel issue, where I had almost zero support from my manager, and finding myself feeling extremely stressed and anxious every single day for 6 months at work, I finally accepted that I needed to get out of there as quickly as possible, because I just couldn’t stay in that situation any longer. I was approached about a job at another company and I jumped at it… and ended up discovering that my new manager was even worse in terms of not really providing any support on a practical level.
My point in sharing all of that is that I had kind-of expected these problems to just take care of themselves, instead of managing them proactively and assertively, and so even the act of changing companies didn’t fix things because I wasn’t dealing with the real issue: the need to do something where I felt genuinely supported, and able to be the best version of myself without being hampered by rigid old-school approaches to getting things done. Problems like that won’t just resolve themselves; if you want things to change for the better then you need to do the work.
Moving on, another way that change can entirely transform your life for the better is that it significantly boosts your personal growth… and growing is kind-of the entire meaning of life. When you step out of your comfort zone and try new things, you’re opening yourself up to new experiences and learning opportunities… which can help you to acquire new skills, gain new perspectives, and discover strengths you never knew you had. Personal growth isn’t just about self-improvement; it’s about becoming more confident, more resilient, and much more capable of handling whatever life throws your way (since it’s inevitable that you’ll face difficulties and challenges in your life from time to time, because we all do; that’s just how life works).
Change can also make a positive difference to your mental and emotional wellbeing. Stagnation can lead to feelings of boredom, frustration, and even — over time — depression. By embracing change, you’re injecting a sense of excitement and adventure into your life, and it doesn’t have to be anything complicated; it can be as simple as taking up a new hobby, travelling to a new place, or meeting new people… I mean, even going out and trying a new cafe or taking a different way to work can shake things up and it can help you to start stepping out of your comfort zone bit-by-bit. Trying new experiences and incorporating more variety into your life can boost your mood, reduce stress, and improve your overall mental health.
Another fantastic way that change can improve your life is that it can open up new possibilities for you. Sometimes, we get so caught up in our routine that we miss out on potential opportunities for growth and success; whether it’s a career change, starting a new business, or pursuing a passion project, making a change can lead to doors opening that you never even knew existed… it’s like giving yourself a fresh start and a chance to reinvent yourself all in one! That’s basically what happened when I started my Let’s Talk About Mental Health podcast back in late 2019; I did it as a creative outlet and as a way of sharing what I’d learned from my own mental health struggles and it took a while to grow — in the first week I had 4 listeners (and one of them was me checking that everything worked the way it was supposed to!) — and yet, over time, it grew and grew, leading to opportunities to work with clients from around the world one-on-one, to release books, to give talks about mental health to some huge corporate clients, to now be launching this show… none of that would have happened if I hadn’t have tried something new that I felt passionate about! So, really think about how you might be able to shake up your own routine and try something new.
Continuing on, relationships can also benefit from change. When you grow and evolve as an individual, it positively impacts your relationships with other people; with your friends, your family, your partner if you have one, etc. You become more open-minded, empathetic, and understanding. Plus, when you make positive changes in your life, it can inspire those around you to do the same. It’s a ripple effect that can lead to stronger, healthier, and more fulfilling connections with the people you care about.
And then change can help you align more closely with your true self and your values. Often, we go through life following a path that’s expected of us, rather than one that truly resonates with who we actually are instead of who we think we’re supposed to be. Making changes, especially those that align with your passions and values, can lead to a much more authentic and fulfilling life, which in turn leads to better mental health and general life satisfaction. It’s a fantastic way to start living life more fully, on your terms, and that sense of authenticity brings immense satisfaction and happiness.
So, this isn’t just about shaking things up for the sake of it; it’s about deliberately and proactively opening yourself up to a richer, more fulfilling life. Change is not just a practice, or an activity, but it’s a mindset… and it’s an incredibly powerful tool for creating the life you’ve always dreamed of.
The secret to effectively changing your life is to focus on why you want or need to make changes. Let me explain what I mean, because it might sound straightforward but it’s actually a hugely-powerful concept that can make or break your success in making changes.
Your ‘why’ is your driving force, your motivation, your anchor. It’s what keeps you going when the going gets tough (because, as Billy Ocean told us in the 80’s, that’s when the tough get going!). Anyway, when you completely understand your own ‘why’ — why you’re making a particular change, and how it fits into the bigger picture — it helps to keep you focused and on-track. It’s something I’ve used many times; I quit smoking back in 2013, after 20 years as a smoker, and it was catching up with me in the form of making my breathing short, and frankly I wanted to be around for my partner and our cat… so that became my ‘why’ and it was the thing that helped talk me down off a ledge all of the many times where I felt like I wanted to crawl out of my skin because the cravings were so bad (did I mention I quit cold-turkey? Yeah, not the best fun I’ve ever had but I’m glad I made it through!).
Anyway, I think you should aim to be clear on why you’re doing pretty-much everything you do, because otherwise it’s a case of, “OK, well if you don’t know why you’re doing it then why are you doing it?!”… but when it comes to change, and understanding why you want to make a specific change in your life, well, think about it this way: when you have a clear, compelling reason for wanting to change, it becomes so much easier to stay committed, and to remind yourself of the bigger picture.
Your ‘why’ gives you a clear sense of purpose and direction. It’s the difference between thinking, “I should probably eat healthier,” versus knowing, “I want to eat healthier because I want to have more energy to play with my kids (or my pets) and improve my overall health.”
When you’re clear on your ‘why,’ you’re more likely to stick with your goals because you’re emotionally invested in the outcome. It’s not just a vague wish or a fleeting thought anymore; it’s a deeply-rooted desire that resonates with who you are and what you value.
Focusing on your ‘why’ also helps you overcome obstacles and setbacks. When you encounter challenges — which you will do, as we all do from time to time — you can remind yourself of your reason for starting this journey in the first place, and it reignites your motivation and helps you push through the tough times. In a way, it’s like having a personal cheerleader in your corner, constantly reminding you of your potential and helping you to see the bigger picture.
On top of that, your ‘why’ can evolve over time. As you grow and change, so might your reasons for wanting to make certain changes. And that’s OK! Life is a dynamic process, and so is change; what matters to you today may be completely different in 5 or 10 years’ time. What’s important is that you regularly reconnect with your ‘why’ and make sure it still aligns with your goals and values, and make adjustments if you need to. This forms part of a broader practice around regularly reflecting on the big picture as well as on a daily basis, and being more intentional about the choices you make each day, and I have some simple digital products available in my store that will help you do all of that, and to stay on track; my store is linked in the episode description or just head to itsjeremygodwin.com.
So, if you’re thinking about making a change, take some time to reflect on your ‘why’. Write it down, keep it somewhere visible, and revisit it often. Let it be your guiding star, keeping you focused and motivated. Remember: the stronger your ‘why’, the more resilient you’ll be on your journey of changing your life for the better.
Summary & Conclusion
So, the main point I’d like to close out with today is about encouraging you to be really clear with yourself about why change matters to you… so, not just the ‘why’ behind a specific change (or changes) that you’re wanting to make, but even just in general terms; in other words, is change and personal growth a priority to you? Is it more important than allowing yourself to stagnate and, if so, then why?
I mean, OK, it probably sounds a bit like I’m stating the obvious here but I think you need to be really clear on the role that change plays for you in life, especially if you’re trying to achieve a specific goal or move your life in a particular direction, and it’s important to really understand for yourself how actively working on creating the change you want can (and will) enable you to create a life that’s aligned with what matters most to you, as well as what you want to achieve.
You know, like I’ve said before, life can have a tendency to throw things at us when we least expect it (and even when we do!), and so change can be incredibly challenging and uncomfortable… but I think we do tend to value the things we have to work for a lot more.
I feel like when we have to plan, and be patient, and persistent, and put one foot in front of the other, and do the work, it makes us really see the value of whatever it is that we’re working towards. It’s about having a genuine appreciation for the art of change, and how it can help you to create almost anything in your life (with enough time, effort, and perseverance), and so it’s up to each of us to decide whether or not we want to be the creators of our own destiny; whether or not we want to take control of this thing we call ‘life’ and squeeze every last drop out of it, so that we can feel that we’re truly living rather than just existing.
Change is the vehicle to take you on your journey… but instead of just jumping into any old vehicle that you have no idea where it’s going (and ending up who-knows-where!), the piece here is about saying to yourself, “this is where I want to go, this is why I want to go there, and this is how I’m going to get there,” and then doing the work to make it happen, little by little, step-by-step, every single day.
So, by way of closing out, each week I like to share a quote that’s relevant to the subject; this is a great one about change, it’s by American author Jim Rohn, and it is: “Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.”
Alright… that’s it for this episode; next week I’ll be talking about the single most important ingredient in creating successful and lasting change in your life — the thing that you need to get right before you even think about taking your first step towards changing your life — and that’s your mindset; in other words, the way you view the world as well as how you view yourself and your potential. Be prepared for an honest conversation about the way you look at things, and you’ll find it’s going to really help you to open your perspective so you can take meaningful steps towards creating the future you want.
I hope you’ll join me for that episode; hit ‘follow’ on your preferred podcast platform so you never miss an episode (and turn on that notification bell; I release new episodes on Wednesdays); as I said last time, I’m committing to 12 episodes for this first season, and then we’ll see what happens from there.
If this episode was helpful, please give it a like so other people can find it and leave me a note to tell me what you thought; if you’re on Spotify scroll down and leave a comment in the Q&A section below, or you can find me on Instagram @itsjeremygodwin. Sign up to my mailing list for free at itsjeremygodwin.com to have episode transcripts and audio emailed to you each week, and support me on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes of all of my podcasts; you’ll find all of those links in the episode description.
Thank you very much for joining me today! Have an absolutely fantastic day, night, whatever it is when you’re listening, and I’ll talk to you next time. Take care!
Change Your Life! is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media. For more information, visit reconnaissancemedia.com
Jeremy Godwin 
1 Comment