What needs to change in your life? How can you identify what needs to change in your life, and how does having a clear focus help with your personal growth? And then where do you even start when it comes to your self improvement?! Well, that’s what you’ll discover in Episode 4 of the Change Your Life! podcast… your practical guide to creating a better life for yourself.
Episode Transcript
What needs to change in your life? How can you identify what needs to change in your life, and how does having a clear focus help with your personal growth? And then where do you even start when it comes to your self improvement?!
Well, that’s what I’m talking about this week here in the Change Your Life! podcast! So, get settled and let’s talk about how to change your life with simple tips grounded in quality research.
Hi! I’m Jeremy Godwin, and welcome to Episode 4 of Change Your Life!, where I’ll be sharing lots of practical and straightforward advice to help you create a better life for yourself.
I’m a writer, coach, and mental health counsellor, so I talk to clients about this stuff for a living, and you might also be familiar with my other podcast, Let’s Talk About Mental Health, where I teach people how to improve their wellbeing each week… but I’m also someone who’s been doing a lot of work to make changes in my own life and so I want to share my journey with you, and all the stuff I’ve been learning along the way, and hopefully we can all really change each of our lives for the better.
Last week I talked about the important role your mindset plays in making changes in your life, and how to harness the power of positive thinking so you can nurture a more positive mindset, and so today I’m going to talk about how to figure out what needs to change in order to create the kind of life you want to live.
So, let’s start by talking about…
Where to start to change your life
And, really, the broader question here is actually, “Well, what needs to change in order to create the kind of life you want to live?” — because that’s what’s going to inform the general direction you need to head in. We’ve been sort-of generally talking about change in the previous episodes, and so now it’s time to really start identifying the specifics of what needs to change in your life or what you want to change.
All the way back in Episode 1 I asked you to start thinking through some key questions, which were:
- What’s working in your life?
- What isn’t working in your life?
- Who do you want to be? (and)
- Who don’t you want to be?
And those are some big, fundamental, existential questions; the kind that tend to make people feel a bit uncomfortable, because if you sit with them and allow yourself to be completely honest then there’s every possibility that you’re going to identify something that feels like a very bitter pill to swallow. Maybe you realise that your job actually shits you up the wall (which is a very Australian way of saying that you don’t like it), or that you feel taken advantage of by some people in your life, or that you have hopes and dreams that have been sitting on a shelf for so long that they’re covered in a thick layer of dust… you get the idea!
Knowing where to start is often the hardest step, and it can feel really uncomfortable and overwhelming, however I have some good news: the first step is actually becoming aware of what you need or want to change in your life, and so the very act of sitting with those questions I asked you to think through actually is the first step… I know, exciting, right?! So if you’ve started to consider them already then congratulations, because that means you’ve taken the first step already! And if you haven’t already then that’s OK, because now you know where to start (and just to make it easier I’m going to repeat those four questions again, plus you can find them in the episode transcript which is available at itsjeremygodwin.com; if you sign up to my mailing list you’ll get it in your inbox whenever a new episode is released).
So, those four questions that will help you to get started are:
- What’s working in your life?
- What isn’t working in your life?
- Who do you want to be? (and)
- Who don’t you want to be?
If you haven’t already, take some time for yourself and go somewhere that you won’t be disturbed and just sit with pen and paper and write down what comes into your head (sure, you can do it on your phone but I find the tactile nature of writing to be more organic and it feels like it connects more with your spirit than typing away on a keyboard; call me old school — or just old — but I still plan out my writing, and these podcasts, by sitting and scribbling away a high-level plan before I then move to my laptop)… anyway, so, take some time to just sit with each of those questions one by one and capture what comes into your mind without overthinking it or judging it, and I’m going to encourage you to focus on yourself here, internally, rather than worrying about what other people are or are not doing, or what others expect of you, or who you think you have to be to fit in or keep up… all of that is just noise, and you’ll tend to feel a lot more satisfied in life if you focus on intrinsic motivation rather than extrinsic (which just means getting your motivation from within, and how you feel about yourself, rather than relying on external validation or factors like money or status).
Every journey begins with a single step, and that first step is all about awareness and clarity, so start with self-reflection to understand who you are and what truly matters to you (and by that I mean the real you, not the you that you think you have to be or that you’ve learned how to be over the years to fit in… if you want to be truly satisfied, then you need to live a life that feels genuinely authentic).
When we talk about identifying what needs to change in your life, we’re essentially talking about taking a good, hard look at where you are right now and where you want to be… and you have to be brutally honest with yourself about what is working and what isn’t if you’re going to change your life for the better. It’s about recognising the gaps — the areas that either aren’t quite working for you, or that really aren’t working at all — and understanding why they might be causing you discomfort or dissatisfaction (or worse). This concept isn’t just about fixing what’s broken; it’s also about growing and evolving as a person. It’s a proactive step towards creating a life that feels more aligned with your true self and your deepest values. Let me also just say that understanding why things may or may not be working is really crucial as well, because you need to be able to address the root cause if you want to create lasting and meaningful change; anything else is basically just putting a band-aid over things and hoping that will fix it (which it might, if it’s something minor, but if it’s something bigger then it will probably just manifest itself in some other way until you eventually deal with the root cause, the reason why it’s happening in the first place).
So, with that in mind, now let’s talk about…
Why you need a sense of direction in life
For me, all of this is about recognising that you need to know where you’re headed (and why) so that you can then create a plan and put it into action. Think of it as mapping out your current life situation and then highlighting the parts that need attention. It’s like plotting a course for a journey: you need to know where you’re starting from and where you want to go, and then you can worry about how you’re going to get there. By identifying the areas you need to and want to work on, you’re setting the stage for making intentional and meaningful changes that can lead you to a much more fulfilling and balanced life.
A clear sense of direction involves considering what you want your future to look and feel like, and so then it’s about working back from there to identify how you can make it happen. It’s kind of pointless to just pick a direction randomly and see where the wind takes you; sure, that may work for some people, but if you’re wanting to change your life specifically because of things that aren’t working, or because you want to achieve particular outcomes, then you need to be a bit more hands-on and intentional (and yes, that’s exactly what I’ll be guiding you through how to do over the next eight episodes).
Having a sense of direction gives your life purpose and meaning. It’s like having a map and a compass that guide you toward your goals and dreams, so you’re not just plodding your way through life day by day. When you know where you’re headed, every step you take feels more intentional and fulfilling. It helps you make decisions that align with your values and aspirations, ensuring that you’re not just drifting aimlessly but moving with a clear sense of purpose.
Think of that ‘journey’ analogy I used earlier, and imagine you’re on a road trip. Without a destination in mind, you might end up wandering around aimlessly without ever finding what truly makes you happy (plus that car of yours is going to run out of juice sooner or later, and the last thing you want or need is it to conk out in the middle of the desert!). But by focusing on a clear direction, you can plan your journey, enjoy the ride, and feel a sense of achievement when you reach your destination. It’s not just about the end goal but about the journey and the growth that comes with it (OK, maybe I’m pushing the ‘road trip’ example a bit far now; I mean, driving for hours on the highway is hardly exciting is it?! But at least it helps you to get to your destination!).
So, I guess the question is why not just stay the same? Why not just wait for change to happen, or let life do its thing while you sit quietly and calmly in your favourite chair? Well, staying the same might feel comfortable, but it often leads to stagnation. Life is dynamic, constantly changing, and evolving. If you stay the same, you risk missing out on new opportunities, experiences, and personal growth. Growth happens outside of your comfort zone, and embracing change can lead to a much richer and more fulfilling life.
Think about a garden. If you don’t tend to it, weeds can take over, and the plants won’t thrive. Similarly, in life, if you don’t actively seek growth and improvement, you might find yourself stuck in a rut, feeling unfulfilled and disconnected from your true potential. Change can be scary, but it’s also an essential part of personal development and living a vibrant, meaningful life. When you take an active role in shaping your life, you feel more in control and empowered. You become the driver of your own journey, making decisions that reflect your true self and your aspirations.
Relying on external circumstances to change your life can leave you at the mercy of situations beyond your control. Instead, when you proactively seek out change you create opportunities and open doors for yourself. It’s about taking responsibility for your happiness and well-being, rather than waiting for life to happen to you. If you want to see positive changes in your life, you need to take proactive steps towards your goals.
How do you do that? Well that’s a great question that I’m about to answer, however first let’s take a short break to hear from the brands that help me create this show each week.
AD BREAK [does not play on Premium]
And welcome back! Now let’s talk about…
Identifying what needs to change in your life
OK, so let’s talk through some straightforward and practical things you can do, beginning with identifying what’s working and what isn’t in your life — and it may sound like a huge place to start, but really it’s fairly simple and it starts with some good, old-fashioned, honest self-reflection… and a bit of practical evaluation. Begin by considering your overall happiness and satisfaction in various areas of your life, especially the four main areas we tend to focus on the most which are your work, your relationships with others, your general health, and your relationship with yourself (and that includes your personal growth). Ask yourself questions like, “What aspects of my life bring me joy and fulfilment?” and “What parts of my day-to-day routine feel draining or stressful?” Pay attention to your emotional responses; they’re often great indicators of areas that need attention. Keeping a journal can be incredibly helpful; note down your highs and lows from each day, what energises you, and what leaves you feeling flat — all of these can provide you with more knowledge about what’s working and what isn’t, and help you to see potential patterns by reviewing your notes from across a period of a couple of weeks or even a month. I have some simple digital tools available to help you get the most out of your daily reflection (and to also improve your wellbeing a little bit each day), you’ll find them on my website at itsjeremygodwin.com/store or you can just use the link in the episode description. Remember, the entire piece here is about being honest with yourself (in a non-judgemental way) and recognising that it’s perfectly OK to want more from your life, or to want different things in your life. Alright, next…
Reflect on your life satisfaction — OK, so, happiness is great and of course we’d probably all love to have more happiness in our lives… but, unfortunately, happiness is a fleeting emotion and so chasing after it can leave you feeling hollow and unsatisfied (since even if you do manage to catch it somehow, it’s not going to last). However, by focusing more on your overall life satisfaction you can start to get a deeper understanding of what might need to change. Life satisfaction tends to be a deeper and longer-lasting feeling than happiness, and it includes a more well-rounded view of the different aspects of your life: your physical wellbeing, mental wellbeing, spiritual wellbeing, social wellbeing (including leisure activities and connecting with other people, regardless of how well you know them), emotional wellbeing, financial wellbeing, your relationships with others (especially your more intimate relationships with family, friends, and your partner if you have one), your work, and ultimately your relationship with yourself (which includes your personal growth and self development). Take some time to compare each of these areas of your life (and they’re all listed in the transcript, which you can find linked in the episode description). Rate your satisfaction in each area on a scale of low, medium, and high, and then do the same for your happiness levels. Then, look for any discrepancies between your happiness and satisfaction scores. For example, you might find that while you often feel happy at work, your overall job satisfaction is low due to a lack of fulfilment or growth opportunities. This contrast can highlight areas where short-term happiness might mask deeper dissatisfaction, pointing you towards necessary changes you need to make, plus it gives you a more comprehensive and holistic view of your well-being and helps you to identify the areas that genuinely enhance your quality of life, as well as those that might need some adjustment in order to achieve a more sustained and meaningful sense of fulfilment. OK, next…
Take an inventory of your life — so, taking the last piece one step further I want to encourage you to evaluate different high-level aspects of your life, such as your career, relationships, health, personal growth, and even your day-to-day habits. By doing this, you can pinpoint any areas that feel off or unfulfilling. This isn’t about being overly critical or harsh on yourself; it’s about being honest and recognising that everyone has areas they can improve or evolve, and it’s a way to take control and steer your life in a direction that feels right for you. This involves paying attention to your feelings, thoughts, and behaviours, and considering how they impact your overall well-being and happiness. In practical terms, it means observing and acknowledging those moments when you feel stressed, unhappy, or unfulfilled. Maybe it’s a sense of dread you feel every Monday morning about going to work, or a lingering dissatisfaction with your social life; these types of feelings are signals that something might be out of alignment. You might start by asking yourself some key questions, like:
- What aspects of my life cause me the most stress or unhappiness?
- Are there any recurring patterns or situations that drain my energy?
- What activities or relationships bring me joy and fulfilment?
- Am I living in accordance with my values and passions?
This isn’t about making snap judgements or immediate decisions; instead, it’s about gaining clarity so you can better understand what’s causing you discomfort or holding you back, which then helps you to see where changes might be necessary. Ideally, you’re looking for those areas where a shift — whether it’s big or small — could lead to a significant improvement in your overall quality of life (and I’ll be exploring how to apply all of that information you gathered so you can make the changes you need to in Episodes 8 to 12). Remember, this isn’t about trying to be perfect; it’s about making progress and creating a life that feels more authentic and satisfying. You’re the one in control, and by identifying what needs to change you’re taking a powerful step towards living your best life. OK, next…
Evaluate your core values and beliefs — understanding yourself is essential for aligning your life with what truly matters to you. Who are you? What do you believe? What do you stand for? Knowing all of this really helps, because living in accordance with your values leads to greater satisfaction and purpose. You can do this by listing your top five values — things like honesty, growth, kindness, creativity, etc. — and assessing how well your current life aligns with your values. If there’s a misalignment, it might indicate where changes are needed. I did an episode about values in my other podcast Let’s Talk About Mental Health (Episode 138 in fact), and I’ll leave a link to it in the transcript (or you can just find it on any major podcast service or it’s also on YouTube Music or Amazon Music). OK, next…
Reflect on your relationships — healthy relationships with the people we care about the most are a key component of a fulfilling life, and reflecting on the current state of your relationships can potentially reveal necessary changes. Healthy relationships are mutually supportive, mutually respectful, and mutually beneficial. They take work, but they shouldn’t be hard and painful work. Try evaluating your close relationships, noting which ones feel positive and which ones might be draining or negative. Consider ways to strengthen positive connections, and choose to address or distance yourself from negative ones. Next…
Evaluate your emotional reactions — so, what I mean by this is to pay attention to your emotional reactions in different situations, because strong emotions often signal areas that need attention or change. You can do this by journaling about your daily experiences and noting any significant emotional responses, then reflect on what triggered these emotions and why. Understanding emotional triggers can help you pinpoint areas in your life that might need change in order to improve your emotional well-being. OK, next…
Analyse your personal growth — do you feel that you’re growing and evolving as a person? Because personal growth is essential for your long-term satisfaction and fulfilment. Reflect on your achievements and learning experiences over the past year, and ask yourself if you’ve developed new skills, achieved personal goals, or grown in ways that are important to you. If not, it may be time to make changes that promote your personal development. Next…
Reflect on your sense of purpose — consider whether you feel a strong sense of purpose in your life, or if it just feels a bit like you’re going through the motions and filling in time. Having purpose is a key driver of motivation and satisfaction, and it doesn’t have to be anything major; it’s what makes you feel fulfilled, so if something simple like picking up rubbish in your neighbourhood makes you feel good then you go, you good thing!You can do this by asking yourself what activities or goals make you feel most fulfilled and why, and then reflect on whether your daily activities and long-term goals align with your sense of purpose. If not, identify changes you can make which could help you to live more purposefully. Next…
Consider your long-term goals — what do you want to achieve in the next year? The next five years? The next 10? Reflecting on your long-term goals can help you identify what needs to change in order to achieve them, and it helps to ensure that your current actions are aligned with your future aspirations (or, at least, to highlight if you’re out of alignment with your goals). Write down your top three to five long-term goals and assess whether your current lifestyle supports these goals; if not, it’s a crystal-clear sign that changes are needed to bridge the gap. OK, next…
Visualise your ideal life — visualisation can be a powerful tool for identifying needed changes, because it creates a clear image of what you want your life to look like. Not sure if it will work? Well, it’s something used by many elite athletes to help them run through things before they even get near the starting blocks… so I feel like if it’s good enough for Olympic athletes then it’s definitely good enough for the rest of us! Do this by sitting quietly and imagining your ideal day, considering all aspects of your life. Then, compare this vision with your current reality to identify areas that don’t match up and identify where changes might be necessary and then get started on actually making those changes, one step at a time!
Summary & Conclusion
So, the thing is that embarking on a journey to identify what needs to change in your life is an incredibly powerful — and necessary — step towards creating a more fulfilling and authentic existence for yourself. By reflecting deeply, seeking new perspectives, and taking proactive steps, you can begin to really empower yourself to make meaningful changes in your life that resonate with your true values and aspirations. The piece here is about moving forward step by step; remember that every small step you take towards understanding and improving your life is a victory in and of itself, and it all adds up over time to help you create enormous change in your life. Embrace this process with an open heart and a positive mindset, knowing that each discovery you make brings you closer to the life you truly desire. You’re in control, and the path to a more satisfying and joyful life is within your reach. Keep moving forward with courage and confidence — you’ve got this!
So, by way of closing out, each week I like to share a quote that’s relevant to the subject; this is a great one about figuring out where you’re heading and why, it’s by an unknown author, and it is: “Direction is more important than speed.”
Alright… that’s it for this episode; next week I’ll be talking about how to overcome your fears and insecurities, as well as limiting beliefs that hold you back from realising your full potential. It’s so easy for these kind of negative thought patterns to take hold, because (as I’ve said in previous episodes) change is daunting and uncomfortable… but succumbing to fear and insecurity just leads to us getting in our own way. So, next time I’ll be talking about how to deal with those types of thoughts so that you can keep on moving forward towards your goals.
I hope you’ll join me for that episode; hit ‘follow’ on your preferred podcast platform so you never miss an episode (and turn on that notification bell; I release new episodes on Wednesdays); as I said last time, I’m committing to 12 episodes for this first season, and then we’ll see what happens from there.
If this episode was helpful, please give it a like so other people can find it and leave me a note to tell me what you thought; if you’re on Spotify scroll down and leave a comment in the Q&A section below, or you can find me on Instagram @itsjeremygodwin. Sign up to my mailing list for free at itsjeremygodwin.com to have episode transcripts and audio emailed to you each week, and support me on Patreon for early access to ad-free episodes of all of my podcasts; you’ll find all of those links in the episode description.
Thank you very much for joining me today! Have an absolutely fantastic day, night, whatever it is when you’re listening, and I’ll talk to you next time. Take care!
Change Your Life! is an independent program proudly produced by Reconnaissance Media. For more information, visit reconnaissancemedia.com
Jeremy Godwin 